LGBTQ Therapist in NYC: A Local Guide to Queer Affirming Therapy
Updated November 2025
Starting therapy can feel overwhelming for anyone. When you identify as LGBTQIA+, it can feel even more complicated. Many of us have had experiences with doctors or therapists who do not fully understand our identities or who unintentionally do harm. As queer and trans people, we often end up educating providers instead of receiving the care we deserve.
Given the choice, most LGBTQIA+ folks prefer to work with an openly LGBTQIA+ therapist or a deeply queer affirming therapist. Research and lived experience both show that we tend to have better outcomes when our providers understand and affirm our identities.
As a queer therapist and advocate with over 10 years in the field, I created this local guide to help you:
Search for an LGBTQIA+ therapist or queer affirming therapist in NYC
Prepare for an initial phone consultation
Know what to ask before you decide who to work with
Whether you are new to therapy or looking for a better fit, I hope this helps you find care that feels safe, affirming, and grounded in your lived experience.
Where to Start When You Want an LGBTQIA+ Therapist in NY
The first step is to identify a short list of providers who might be a good fit and reach out to them. I wish it were easier to find an LGBTQIA+ therapist, but right now it often takes a bit of digging.
As you read profiles, notice things like:
Do they share their pronouns?
Do they mention being LGBTQIA+ themselves or clearly name queer affirming therapy?
Do they talk about specific communities and experiences, or do they only check a generic “LGBTQ” box?
Below are some common places to search for an LGBTQIA+ therapist in New York City.
Google - Search phrases like:
“LGBTQIA+ therapist NYC”
“LGBT therapist near me”
“queer affirming therapy New York”
“trans affirming therapist NYC”
The first page will include paid ads, which can still be useful, but try to look beyond the first few listings. Scan the first one to three pages of results to see who consistently shows up when people search for LGBTQ therapy.
Alma & Headway - Alma and Headway are insurance-focused platforms where you can search for therapists who take your plan. They can be a good option if you need to stay in-network.
Use filters like LGBTQIA+, LGBTQIA+ affirming, trans affirming, or queer therapist.
Alma has a “Get Matched” feature that can help narrow down your options.
Even when a profile says “LGBTQ friendly,” it is still important to ask questions and get a feel for their actual competence during the first call.
MyWellBeing - MyWellBeing allows you to request matches with LGBTQIA+ identified and/or BIPOC identified therapists. You fill out a brief form and receive a small set of recommended therapist matches by email. Some people complete the form more than once and play with their responses to see different options. This can be a quick way to find a queer affirming therapist or someone who shares your identities.
Psychologytoday - Psychology Today is a huge directory. It is not the most targeted option, but it can be helpful if you know what to look for.
Use filters for location, insurance, and concerns.
Under “Issues” or “Client Focus,” look for terms like LGBTQIA+, Gay Allied, Transgender Allied, Non-Binary, or Queer.
Read the full profile to see if they talk about queer and trans communities in a specific, affirming way.
Since there are many therapists on this site, you may need to reach out to several before hearing back.
Queer Mental Health Database - The Queer Mental Health Database is a peer-sourced list of LGBTQIA+ providers in New York. It includes:
Individual therapists
Group practices
Community clinics
The database also notes information like fees, sliding scale options, and whether providers work in person, virtually, or both. This can be especially helpful if you are looking for low fee options or specific identities and specialties.
A few additional resources to check:
National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network (NQTTCN) - A directory and network centering the mental health of queer and trans people of color.
Callen-Lorde - A community health center in NYC that provides LGBTQIA+ affirming medical and mental health services.
Identity House - A volunteer-based organization that offers peer counseling and support spaces for LGBTQIA+ people.
These resources can be especially helpful if you are looking for culturally specific support, low or no cost services, or a community-based setting.
How to Prepare for a Phone Consultation with a Queer Affirming Therapist
Once you have emailed a few therapists, your next step will usually be one of two options:
A free 15–20 minute phone consultation, or
A paid intake session (often 30–60 minutes)
Both are chances for you and the therapist to see if you are a good fit for one another. Before the conversation, it can help to reflect on a few questions.
Questions to Ask Yourself Before the Call
What am I looking to get out of therapy?
Try to be as specific as you can. Are you hoping to reduce anxiety, process a breakup, explore gender, manage OCD, work through family trauma, or something else?
What has past therapy been like for me?
If you have been in therapy before, what worked and what did not? If this is your first time, what fears or questions do you have?
What specific competencies does my therapist need?
For example:
Experience with sexuality and gender identity
Trans-specific care and letter writing
Affirming of polyamory, kink, BDSM, or nonmonogamy
Lived experience or training in working with BIPOC communities
Knowledge of religious, spiritual, or cultural contexts that matter to you
What are my practical needs and limits?
Consider your ideal schedule, budget, and insurance situation. Do you need to use in-network benefits, or do you have out-of-network coverage for a queer affirming therapist?
What to Ask Before Choosing an LGBTQ-Friendly Therapist
During your consultation, you should always have a chance to ask questions. Unfortunately, some providers say they “work with LGBTQ clients” without providing truly LGBTQIA+ affirming therapy. Others may unconsciously reinforce heteronormative, cisnormative, or monogamy-only ideas.
Here are some questions you can ask to get a clearer picture of a provider’s competence and style:
Do you have lived experience or specific training in working with LGBTQIA+ clients?
Do you have experience working with trans, nonbinary, bisexual, or [insert your identity] clients?
How do you approach sexuality, gender identity, and gender expression in therapy?
How do you work with kink, polyamory, nonmonogamy, and other relationship structures?
What type of therapy do you provide?
You can ask if they lean more structured and skills based, more exploratory and insight oriented, or a mix.Have you worked with my concerns before?
For example anxiety, OCD, panic, depression, trauma, ADHD, or relationship stress.What do sessions cost, and do you offer sliding scale spots?
Do you accept my insurance, or can you provide a superbill for out-of-network reimbursement?
What does your availability look like, and how do you handle scheduling or cancellations?
Pay attention not just to their answers, but also to how you feel while you are talking. Do they listen? Do they use your name and pronouns correctly? Do you feel respected?
Reflecting After the Call
After each consultation, take a moment to check in with yourself. You do not have to choose the first LGBTQ therapist you speak with. It is okay and often helpful to talk with a few different people.
Questions to reflect on:
Was this person easy to talk to?
Did they affirm your pronouns, name, and identities?
Did you feel seen, understood, and respected?
Can you imagine opening up more to this person over time?
Do their fee, schedule, and location or telehealth options realistically work for you?
Do you feel curious and hopeful about working with them, or more unsure and tense?
Sometimes the answer is clear right away. Other times, you may need to sleep on it or schedule another call before deciding.
Making Your Decision
After speaking with a few LGBTQIA+ or queer affirming therapists, you will likely have a sense of who feels right. If you realize you forgot to ask a question, it is completely fine to send a follow-up email.
Many providers will reach out again a week or so after your first call. Notice who feels responsive, respectful, and genuinely interested in supporting you.
Your first full session is usually a “getting to know each other” space. You will talk about:
What brings you into therapy
Your history, identities, and important relationships
Symptoms or patterns you want support with
Your goals and hopes for therapy
It takes time to build trust. Give yourself a few sessions to see how you feel. If something does not feel right, it is okay to speak up, ask for changes, or look for a different therapist. Therapy should always feel like a space where your identities are affirmed and where you can show up as your full self.
LGBTQIA+ Affirming Therapy at Aspire Psychotherapy
At Aspire Psychotherapy, our team is dedicated to providing LGBTQIA+ affirming therapy in NYC, the Hudson Valley and virtually in NJ and DE. Many of our therapists identify as queer or trans, and all are committed to providing care that is affirming, anti-oppressive, and trauma informed.
We work with clients around:
Sexuality, gender identity, and gender expression
Coming out, transitioning, and navigating family or community responses
Polyamory, nonmonogamy, kink, and alternative relationship structures
Anxiety, OCD, depression, and burnout
ADHD and neurodivergence
Relationships, boundaries, and communication
Whether you are seeking a queer therapist in NYC for the first time or looking for a better fit, we strive to create a space where all parts of you are welcome.
If you are ready to start, you can book an intake appointment and get matched with an LGBTQIA+ affirming therapist at Aspire. We will talk through your needs, preferences, and goals, and help you connect with a therapist who feels right for you.
About the Author: Brie Scolaro, LCSW
Brie Scolaro, LCSW (they) is a nonbinary, LGBTQIA+ identified therapist, performance coach, and Co-Director of Aspire Psychotherapy. Brie provides in-person and virtual queer affirming therapy to individuals and couples in New York City, the Hudson Valley, and New Jersey.
They have over 10 years of experience working with LGBTQIA+ clients, couples, and partners as they navigate sexuality, gender identity, gender expression, and relationships from a kink, poly, ENM, and BDSM positive stance. Brie specializes in anxiety, OCD, high achieving and perfectionistic clients, and queer athletes and performers.
If you are looking for an LGBTQ therapist in NYC or a queer affirming therapist who understands both identity and performance, you can get matched with a therapist at Aspire Psychotherapy and take the next step in your care.